Broken Heart

Grief doesn’t just happen when someone we love dies. There are, perhaps, a hundred or more reasons we might grieve.

Here’s one. She fell “in like” with a guy who was charming and deceptive. She didn’t know that last thing yet. First impressions are usually really good when you’re trying to build a relationship, so anything negative is ignored. The smiles and laughs lasted awhile. Then the talks that led to minor disagreements and then to small arguments. The arguments turned into yelling. The yelling turned into physical and emotional abuse by him (note that it can happen the other way around, too, but not this time). She was miserable and scared. Scared that he would hurt her more if she told. Or left. After all, they were now in love. At least that’s what she told herself.

Long story short, she left. But she is still miserable because the scars left behind are a reminder of what should never have happened. Part of her was dead. And she grieved. Correction… she grieves.

The memories of this will remain, but healing can happen, and it should. Our God is an awesome God. He is our strength and our shield. He is our refuge when the storms rage. He is our hope. Her heart was broken, but God is the Healer of broken hearts.

By the way, everyone else grieves along with her, but our hope for life again presses on.

Loss and the Senses

I’ve heard it said that if one of our senses is diminished, the others are enhanced.  This is especially true with sight and sound.

I also think that all our senses (sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste) are enhanced when we lose someone we love.  Our hearts and minds want to remember everything we can.  Sometimes, the grief is so deep, we fight to grab hold of even the minor details.

Twenty years later, you meet someone who wears the same perfume your grandmother did.  You hear a song your best friend sang all the time.  You see a picture of your niece whose smile lit up the room.  You feel the smooth wood your dad planed and varnished.  You taste the best chocolate chip cookies since your mother made them. 

All those things remain treasures to you throughout the rest of your life.  It’s part of the story you tell to the next generations in your family.  In loss and grief, ALL our senses are enhanced.  That’s one way God blesses us.

Memories aren’t a poor substitute for the real thing.  In fact, memories help us rejoice a little more, even while we are grieving.  That seems a bit contradictory until we understand that grief means we truly love.  That makes sense.